Gay Wedding Invitations Embarass Me!

Richard Brown at Amy Wells Designs Explains Why the Majority of Gay Wedding Invites are so poor

Richard Brown — Thu, 26 Apr 2007 03:12:46 +0000

In the UK today there are a great deal of companies that are prepared to deliver rehashed, reworked and frankly shoddy design to try and capture the a share of the growing market that is civil ceremony stationery.

Since the introduction of the legal recognition of same sex relationships in the UK, both the off the shelf and the bespoke wedding invitation producers have cynically been dragging their old designs out of the cupboard to present them as gay stationery alleges Richard Brown at Amy Wells Designs. Why would they do that? Simple. It is easier to try and take a share of a new market than to grow a share of an existing one. This is good old fashioned capitalism at work. Whilst that in itself is not particularly surprising, what is surprising is some of the designs being offer to same sex couples. Old fashioned designs are being dressed up to appeal to a retro market in an attempt to convince of its shabby chic status. 80s bright and garish are trendy, and soft pastels and chintz are being rolled out as examples of pretty invitations.

Bespoke card designers are not fairing any better according to Brown, saying many of the card designers out there have no clue how to approach a couple who are about to commit their lives to each other he goes on to state some of these designers are still embarrassed about two guys holding hands.

Richard Brown set out his guidelines as to how to select your bespoke wedding stationery designer to try and make sure that you get what you pay for:

1. Will your designer meet/discuss with you what you and your partner are looking for? If they simply want you to pick from a group of designs that is not bespoke. Bespoke is spending time to make it absolutely specific to the couple

2. Is your designer capable of delivering invitations, RSVPs, table settings, table layouts, etc in a complimentary design so that your entire stationery is appropriate to the décor of your day?

3. Does your designer understand that you can only spend a certain amount on your stationery and yet still strive to deliver beautiful work?

4. Can your designer interpret you and your partners personalities so that when your guests look at the stationery they can see you in it?

5. Is your designer prepared to not reuse your design and to deliver to you framed examples of the final pieces as a keepsake of the happy day?

If you can answer yes to all of the above, Brown contends you are most of the way to getting a good designer that will at least try to deliver good work. He does have another checklist though his checklist for managing your designer. Brown explains that it is important to be clear about expectations planning your day is going to be stressful enough without worrying about the wedding stationery.

Agree milestones initial designs by such and such a date, final draft for approval by such and such a date etc. By having clear (even if you both agree to change them) dates as to when things should happen, all parties can be relaxed about the design and production process
Be honest if you love it then say so, if you hate it you had better say so as early as possible
Agree a payment profile NEVER pay the full amount up front. A 50% deposit with 25% at final approval and 25% at delivery gives your designer enough incentive to do the work, but retains enough control to make SURE they do the work!
Do pay the extra to have the stationery set framed up to keep remember, you are giving most of it away, and if you love the designs as you should then a mounted (and preferably signed) montage of the pieces will act as a permanent memento.
Actively keep in touch with your designer so that any changes to numbers of guest etc are communicated as early as possible to avoid future problems

If the couple take charge and dont settle for some of the derivative items that are currently on the market, there are some great designers in the UK and same sex couples can have as beautiful stationery as anyone else. Accept the poor quality material on offer and we all become to blame for what amounts to discrimination through laziness.

A free guide from AmyWellsDesigns.co.uk on Making a Best Man Speech

Richard Brown — Sun, 29 Apr 2007 22:12:51 +0000

Best Man - How to make a competent speech on the Wedding Day

OK - let's be honest. Most of us will be scared witless at standing up with all of those expectant faces, all waiting for us to be witty, pithy, funny, sensitive and not forget to thank everyone. Where do we start?!?

First a few general tips:

1. Do have notes - whilst we all can have really good memories, it is almost guaranteed that this will disappear on the day!
2. Do check your notes - easy to forget if you don't use those well prepared notes
3. Do practice - it is amazing how much more natural you will seem if you have run through it a couple of (hundred) times before
4. Do censor yourself - think about Granny and whether or not she should hear THAT particular joke
5. Do take hints from other websites, people in fact anywhere you can find good relevant material
6. Don't plan to go on too long - 15minutes of your speech is likely to be plenty, 45minutes will have people itching for you to stop
7. Don't try and take the limelight - you will get more applause for focussing on the happy couple than on yourself
8. Don't get drunk - one (small) drink is dutch courage, one bottle of scotch is difficult to undershtands
9. Don't worry too much - it is the couple that is the focus for the day, you only have 15minutes of limelight
10. Don't forget to remember 1-9!

The day

You're traditional head of the wedding helpers, so reply to the previous speakers on behalf of the maids of honor/bridesmaids and other helpers.

You have to propose a toast to the parents, take the mick (roast) out of the groom, and compliment and toast to the couple. The best man wedding speech often is the third in order after the father of the bride and the groom have spoken.

Best Man Speech Ideas

Saying Thank you

1. Try to start your speech with a joke or a funny statement about this day (keep it clean and aim not to offend anyone).

2. Introduce yourself to the guests - not everyone will know you.

3. Thank the groom for his speech and for asking you to be best man (opportunity for a "who else was he going to ask" quip)

4. Make lovely about the Bride (doesn't matter what you really think - she IS gorgeous) and thank the bride on behalf of the maids of honour or bridesmaids and the other helpers.

5. Thank the hosts of the party on behalf of the guests, often they are the parents of the bride (and may well have paid a lot - be nice to them!)

6. Thank the father of the bride for his speech and his kind words.

7. Toast to the parents of the bridal couple (make sure EVERYONE toasts them - make them feel special)

8. Thank the couple for their gifts and compliments to the maids of honour or bridesmaids and to all other people who helped making this day a succes (worth checking with the couple if there is anyone in particular she would like to add - photographer, florist etc)

9. Mention some funny incidents in your best man speech about the preparation for the wedding. Mix in some averted disasters of this ceremonial day. Reveal some secrets from behind the scenes (if you don't have any, no-one will mind you making some up - as long as they are not insulting!)

Taking the Mick (roasting) the Groom

1. Tell about your relationship to the groom. How did the two of you met? How has your friendship developed, how you came to be best mates?

2. Why did they choose you as best man? Ask him beforehand and give his answer a humourous twist.

3. Address the couple and include anecdotes about the bride and groom. Tease a little bit (or a lot!)

4. How/when/where did they have met each other?

5. How did he tell you about his new love, what did he exactly say (again - plenty of opportunity here for humour)?

6. How has he changed? Did he behave differently? How? Give examples of funny situations.

7. Taking the mick (roasting) out of the groom is the heart of your best man speech. You as best man may humiliate (gently) him in an amusing way in front of all wedding guests. Make a show of it, with lots of laughter! Tell funny stories and embarrassing incidents of his past and use props.

8. Come up with some jokes about his years of study, job skills, sports, hobbies and achievements (plenty of websites online to help you here)

9. Show photos of embarrassing moments for the groom and tell the story behind it (again - if there are not any funny stories, no-one will mind you making some up here - but be nice!)

10. Illustrate your light hearted remarks with props - old toys, sports wear, school awards, and so on. Use props in a best man speech.

11. Give some words of advice and your ideas about love and marriage. Be sincere and sensitive.

12. You may want to strenghten your thoughts by using inspirational quotes in your best man speech particularly when talking about their future.

13. Give a little bit of marriage advice if you are married yourself. What have you learned? How do you cope with marriage things?

24. Give some heart felt comments about the happy couple. Yes, speak from your heart.

THE TOASTING

25. Toast the maids of honor or bridesmaids (Groom will have done this already - do it again)

* Try to put an amusing remark or a joke after each set of 3 or 4 lines in your best man speech.
* Don't be offensive, nasty or rude in your best man speech. Don't go too far. And don't mention his escapades with women in the past, it might upset him, the bride and the other guests, like children ...